[2023/09/14 Editorial Note] Donghai founder Guo Tai-chan held a reporter's meeting this morning (14th) and announced that the deputy was chosen as artist and writer Feng Peixia. 》Related News

Zhen Peixia said that her expertise is communication and coordination. In addition to occasionally acting, she has been studying psychology for more than 30 years. After leaving the marriage, she mentioned that it is not easy to engage in any relationship with relatives, friendships, and love. Looking back at the visit three years ago, how can Feng Peixia reconcile with her ex-husband and herself after she gets divorced?

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【Text/Zhang Wen/2020/09/12】

What is the key to quality retirement life? Or maybe you can start the —— relationship view, regretful settlement from the most easily overlooked, and is also the most important part.

September's Orange Generation Weekly Report will show you how Sui Tang's mother-in-law, Feng Peixia, reconciled with her ex-husband and herself after she got divorced? How did artist Liang Zhengqun sort out his relationship with his father and father Liang and embrace his self-cultivation and embark on a journey of father-son reconciliation?

How can each of us, at the "middle point" of this life mileage, review the relationships in the first half of our lives, and without regrets to embark on the journey of the second half of our lives?

Talk about the reconciliation in life, and Feng Peixia is absolutely qualified.

Feng Peixia, 57 years old this year, has many identities—— and has become an artist at the age of 18. From a singer, actor to a host, she has been a well-known spiritual writer and a spiritual director for many people to deal with life relationships.

Being able to bring leaders to face challenges and tolerate pain is not a unique way of being a natural person; the thirstness of life in Feng Peixia was first presented in the form of "hardship and difficulty".

30 years of injury, psychological counseling and business injury,

The mother gave birth to a child without marriage, which made her a mixed-race man without a father, and was subject to disagreement and disagreement during her growth process. The cowardly biological father was absent in her life, leaving her unaware of what a normal family was. She longs for family and enters marriage with expectations, but her ex-husband has an affair and bullies and escapes in marriage.

Divorce not only shattered her dream, but also made her afraid of —— She entered the same fate as her mother, becoming a single mother, and was as sad as her mother. "What's even more terrible is that I also began to complain about God's failure."

The three most important people in the first half of her life brought her pain and disappointment. After 30 years of long, Feng Peixia faded out of the show circle and turned to psychological counseling, constantly experiencing the pain of life, embarking on the road of reconciliation again and again, embarking on the journey of changing herself.

You and I may not have had the bitter experience of the eight-point film of Feng Peixia in life. Life is good, why should we reconcile?

"(The regrets and confusion of life) It is not that you don't care about it, it will rebel when you are uncomfortable, poor will, and poor in your condition. If you want to live a relaxed and relaxed life, handle it well so that you will not drag down people who have nothing to do with the "source"."

Zhen Peixia said that life is at a certain age—— some people are children who grow up and leave home, and some people retire, and every time Different, I look forward to the fullness of life and start asking: "What is my life?" I will sort out my past life: "Do I want to walk the path of life with unwillingness and unblockingness? Are there any other choices?" I am also more and more often looking at the person on the pillow in the quiet night: "Is this person extra points for my life? Or is it for me to consume energy?"

Only by clearing the most important first-level relationship can I enjoy happiness, happiness and beauty in the second half of my life.

Get out of the marriage change and know how to treat yourself well

Feng Peixia got married when she was less than 25 years old. She divorced 8 years later, and lived an independent life with her 5- and 1-year-old daughter, as well as only 60,000 yuan in cash.

The first marriage made Feng Peixia nakedly see her negative personality that she had never understood, such as jealousy, suspicion, hatred, being petty, and feeling of security. These hidden shadows exploded in the process, trying to destroy others and destroy themselves. She even doubted herself: "Is it really that unworthy of love?"

It's OK, when she first came into contact with the growth group in order to become a better mother, she once volunteered as a supervisor and wanted to improve her professional guidance and learn psychological counselors. These courses and methods gave Feng Peixia a strong support when facing the bone-chilling relationship.

She knew that many things need to be cleared from her life. She also saw that since childhood, the language of "You are a mess" and "You are different from us" often appeared and stabbed her, making her always look for a "sense of love". In all the relationships in life, she would leave immediately as long as she realized that "I am no longer the person you need."

She began to practice seeing what she needed and was trapped, seeing clearly why she suffered in relationships, and bravely expressing her needs.

Compiled past When she faced no complaints in life

After leaving her first marriage, she not only deliberately understood her needs, but also practiced "talking well". For example, one morning, she walked into the living room and saw the current Mr. Xie Zhidong and his eldest daughter Xie Peien sitting in the restaurant, having breakfast, reading books, and reading computers. At that time, in addition to the dog's potty, the two dogs urinated on the floor outside the potty;.

She picked up the sanitary paper and sorted it out, and said, "When I saw that there was feces in the dog basin, I knew that because the poop in the pot was not clear, the dog peed outside the pot. I was not happy to see it because the house had wooden floors and urine would smell after a long time. I hope the house is fragrant. Can you be troubled when you wake up in the morning, pay attention to it as much as possible. , help clean the poop so that it will not urinate outside the basin again. "

After these years of practice, she has been able to not complain in daily conversations, but instead describe the observed facts, express the feelings in her heart, express inner needs, and put down the old sayings of orders, and use clear and positive directions to induce specific behavioral language to make a request.

She also knew that the most important thing about reconciliation was that before leaving a relationship, the trauma had to be cleared up before going to the next stage. Otherwise, what was done and thought in the next stage would have the projection of this stage.

"When I cannot be grateful for the previous relationship, I will be unwilling to the next relationship." So Feng Peixia lived well and made herself a better person. Thanks to the marriage that allowed her to see her imperfection and awaken her, allowing her to grow quickly, and to face the real life more in a real way, and no longer live in a illusory ideal.

She did not think that the first marriage was "failed", but called it "perfect process", which allowed her to see her better self and know more about how to operate a secret relationship when the second marriage came. Feng Peixia is "very satisfied with her current life, like a fishing fish." Looking back at the road, she could finally say with certainty: "Qi Peixia's life has never been a problem. She has always been so beautiful, but have I seen it. I have been walking on this road."

Feng Peixia reminds that no matter who reconciles or what the inner needs are, you must remember that "like yourself" is the most important thing, "because you are part of this world, you don't like yourself, it's hard to like this world."

Welcome the new life The path of reconciliation is completed every day. Even if there is a small misunderstanding, Feng Peixia, who "can reconcile every day", seems to have entered another stage of her life now. She will set up a "Talk Say" club and bring the big club "Talk Say".

"I'm quite excited. Life has come to the second half. What should I leave for this world? I have been studying business for so long, and from the age of 3, I looked up at the church and now, how can I live the pain in my life and see the love behind it? I should share it with you . ”

"If I don't care about myself, who will care about me; when I only care about myself, what does life mean?" As Feng Peixia said, now she has sorted out the confusion of life and has faced the regrets, and has the power to create a more important change than herself.

Xi Peixia's small file

Xi Peixia is a senior artist and a family of celebrities. The eldest daughter of her and her ex-husband, Xie Peien, is an idol drama star; her second husband, Xie Zhideng, was the first new technology investment to study in the United States and return to Taiwan, and was called the "father of scanners"; Xie Zhideng and his ex-wife's son Tony are the husband of Sui Tang.

Marriage is injured. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Feng Peixia reminds that when encountering problems in marriage, don’t be afraid to ask for help. The biggest problem is to play the role of a strong person but not be willing to ask for help. As long as you are willing to ask, many places can be helped.

Divorcery is a legal act. If financial ability is allowed, please ask the lawyer to help you, clear the legal responsibility and do not talk about the law with emotion. For emotional and emotional problems, go to the consultant. Both of these problems have been cleared, and they can face each other safely.

There are no financial resources, but also related resources. Many non-profit organizations such as the ZHANGXIN Foundation, the Wanqing Maid Association, the Legal Assistance Foundation, etc. can provide a lot of legal resources. Emotionally, some people seek help from social or community resources through religion.

Talking well 10 Reminder

Many people feel lonely because they don’t speak well, and if they have more gentle, flexible and space, the relationship will be much better. In Feng Peixia's new book "I Want to Talk to You", there are some warm reminders:

1. If you want to talk and communicate well with others, start with knowing yourself.

2. Bring your warmth and peace outside the home back to the home.

3. Talk carefully and listen carefully to the other party's words.

4. Think about it, what do you really want to say when you tag others?

5. Sometimes, not rushing to speak is also a way of communication.

6. Listen carefully: Criticize, hidden my unmet needs……

7. When we say "I need to be ……", it means that the antidote is in the hands of others.

8. "Don't" what you "want" does not mean that you know what you want.

9. Want to have good relationships? Carefully observe the "needs" of people around you.

10. Only by allowing the other party to say "no" can it be possible to enter into communication and communication.